FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Q: How fast can I get to my destination?
A: We’ll have you there in minutes, guaranteed. For example, downtown Seattle to the University of Washington takes only 14 seconds. Average flight times from Seattle to outlying backwater hamlets such as Redmond average only 79 seconds. Please consult our full transit schedule for details.
Q: How safe is it?
A: We have a fawless safety record. There has never been an accident in the entire history of CommutapultTM.
Q: What are the G-forces inside the pod?
A: Less than 2 G’s thanks to our innovative catcher facilities. Don’t worry, your fingers won’t get all puffy, you can still text your BFF in-flight.
Q: Will I be able to see other pods in flight?
A: Of course you will. That’s half the fun!
Q: What about environmental impact?
A: From solar roof panels to on-site food waste composting, CommutapultTM is one “Green Machine”.
Q: Which ground transportation systems have linked to your network of stations?
A: Please contact Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn.
Q: How much does it cost?
A: More than the bus. But think about it more like a private limo or jet rental. Compared to current public transportation options, CommutapultTM is still a good value.
Q: Can I talk on my cellphone in flight?
A: Yes of course! This is not some old airplane. Our satellite guided telemetry and navigation systems are triple-redundant and fully encrypted. Our pods are safe and stable. Where do you think all those former Boeing engineers went to? Just remember to use your hands-free headset. Washington State Patrol is now actively enforcing the new law against using handheld phones while in transit.
Q: Can I smoke while using CommutapultTM?
A: Well, let’s just agree that Seattle doesn’t really deal well with the subject of smoking. You wouldn’t want to tamper with the built in smoke detector in your pod either. No one wants to be forcibly ejected at 6000 feet above Lake Washington.
Q: Can I have “one for the road”?
A: Open containers inside vehicles are illegal in the state of Washington, but we do sell alcoholic beverages at the lounges located in every station. Your next drink is closer than you think!
Q: What if I need to go pee?
A: Just hold it. You’re always “almost there”.
Q: Will my “Glee” episodes on Hulu be interrupted in flight?
A: No. 8G Wifi is available free of charge to all paying CommutapultTM users.
Q: Is there a “Mile High Club” for CommutapultTM?
A: CommutapultTM operates above 5280 ft but only for moments. You would have to be very snappy.
Q: What happens if Mount Rainier erupts while I’m in flight and the catcher facility wobbles or falls over?
A: In the event of a natural catastrophe, we are fully insured. Signature of all waiver documents is required prior to issuance of your CommutaPassTM.
Q: OK, then what happens if Godzilla picks a fight with Mothra near a CommutaStationTM?
A: Fear not! Our CommutaStationsTM are equipped with state of the art anti-monster defense systems.
Q: Yeah but, what if Starscream picks a fight with Bumblebee?
A: Same thing, defenses are armed immediately. Besides, Optimus Prime would never let that happen.
Q: Can I time travel back to high school using CommutapultTM?
A: No. Get over it. She’s still not going to like you.